Hello World

Do you sometimes wake up in the morning walk out to your porch / balcony and look straight and ask.. “How are you world?” :”D
I do it now and then.. It’s important man.. World needs love, someone who cares, someone who cares if it burned the house down or if all is well.. I am one of them.
But then it also makes you feel like this



The Faux Pranab

Okay so I put out the idea of a Benglish podcast a couple of weeks back and I received an overwhelming response from all your guys. My mailbox is full! (forced applause).. I’m overwhelmed (teary eyed) (“Yeah *was overwhelming* and *I’m overwhelmed* are the same thing dumbass!! Real estate!! Real estate!!” says the pirate sitting on my left shoulder who is responsible for running a spell-check on my writing style)

Too much output to process” says my coding pirate.
You don’t need double quotes for everything – spell-check pirate

Enough! Back to me…. Read the below post. This man inspires me every day every hour.. of my benglish life.



The headline sums it up. I’m certainly happy he’s alive, but I’m worried his phones and emails are being monitored since this date by Mossad.
And now so are mine. I took their name on a public post.
Aaaaanyway.. They’ll stop the trail once they realize I went from Bihar to Buffalo and then to Kansas. My bovine life! Yes the pun is intended! Ain’t no puns goin’ waste here mate.

So what are most concerned about this week? Let’s be honest. It is the new species of frog that was discovered in the Western Ghats in India. Half of you don’t even know what the fuck that means but for the other half this is most earth shattering discovery of all times. Like the dude was in our backyard all these years man.. and we didn’t even know about it. Imagine the snail that was on that drumstick tree in your backyard through the hellish summers where even your bladder would scream “Lemme retain some liquid here will you!!! You bloody heat of a nut job!” (Btw Blogo just auto-corrected *nutjob* to *nut job*.. Awww! (insert heart smiley till I figure this shit))
Comeing out of that shell.. And then the snail also survived the clattering thunders and blinding lightenings and torrential downpour of rains and then.. Winter is coming happened.. It survived that too.. The drumstick tree shed it’s leaves so It decided to walk to the Guava tree next to it coz it was beginning to look nice and green. But darn it! It was back to summer when it reached. Whatte life of streggle!

Coming back out of this shell too… Imagine that little thing was there all your life and you bloody didn’t know anything about it. It was continuously shuttling between drumstick and guava.. one long and dry other round and juicy. That was it’s life.. every time saying tree is greener on the other side and never getting there..

Shit! Wrecking ball of a thought.. OMG… This is my life… Bovine… Snail like… Grass, tree, fruits everything always greener and more ripe on the other side.. Okay sometimes Red-er since i’m color blind.. But seriously!!! Holy fuck this is..

Coming out of that shell..
Pranab Da inspires me… because he’s like the old snail.. walks slowly, talks slowly, cares not a goats goatie worth of shit about what famous people like me or infamous people like the rest of you say.. smiles always, clean shaven, suited up like that-guy-from-how-i-met-your-mother.
That’s why when he slowly read Hummus his mind broke the word down Hum – hindi wala we? Ham?
mus – mass christian wala mass.

Ham mass.. We love Hamas…..

Next morning… ohho! So what man.. so big deal they are making.. ayee Rotu da.. cophee ta niyesho!


Profound realizations

There are moments in life when you have certain profound realizations about yourself, about life and other things. I feel a sense of void somedays.. and today is one such evening..

Over listening to this beautiful piece of music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7jTM7VkWPY [starting from 7:00] I come to realize how fragile life is.. how emotions work in our minds.. One such emotion is anger..

I realized that anger is borne out of love… not hatred.. hatred leads to envy.. not anger.. hatred leads to anger towards the self and envy towards the other.. Love on the other hand is the cause of anger towards a person. You love them so much that you can’t see them do a certain thing.. you love them so much that you can’t see them make half-hearted efforts.. you can’t see them fail… you can’t see them suffer.. you can’t see them make sacrifices that won’t result in anything..

Anger can only be born where there is love.. they’re both like ying and yang..  one can’t exist without the other.. Once you lose love.. you lose anger.. and that is why you don’t feel anything when you hear about a murder in a distant land.. there is no love for that human being.. and hence there is no anger.. hence there is no intent to take an action against injustice.. But the same thing when it happens to someone you know or love.. you are overcome by anger and a feeling of revenge or purpose depending on how to channelize it.. you suddenly want to repair the system, you want to help the judiciary strengthen it’s arms and fight injustice better.

i’ll leave it at that..

By the by

Drink up me hearties!

The rise of super powers

A lot of my posts have a tone of angst against the US of A. I am not really agry with the US as a country, but I am angry at how it is managed and how it is marketted, and how the two are so different. I came to the US 2 years ago and I remember talking to my cousin and telling him that there’s something about this country and the systems in place that I don’t feel good about. And when he asked me what were those systems, i couldn’t put a finger on it and say “this, this and this” is what’s wrong. I think I have finally figured out what it is that I thought was odd and uncomfortable about the way this country is run.

As I see it, this is a rich man’s country. I have enough money to buy stuff I want, live a decent life in a decent neighbourhood, and eat what I want to, and I pay a good amount for it. By no means is anything I buy a cheap commodity and by that I mean the basic amenities aren’t cheap. Cost of living is something that every country worries about, but there’s something else that this country does different. Every heard “Everything is big in America!” and now have you ever wondered why? Why are the Coke and Pepsi cups so much bigger than most other places in the world, the popcorn buckets and the paper towel packs. The industry wants you to buy large quantities.

Imaging this, you come to me to buy a car. I say I’ll give you 2 cars for $10000 while you came in to buy one car for a max of $7000. I bet you’d think about the offer I just made to you, in fact i know you’re already thinking about it even though the offer is hypothetical. Now, you go ahead and say “Alright gimme two cars.”. 2 years down the line, when one car goes bust, you feel the need to buy a replacement car.

Pause… Now think this, you came to me to buy one car. That was your need, I sold you two, and now your need has become 2 cars. I have hence transformed your need and reset your benchmark of a “basic”. Draw the same parallel to a paper towel pack. Walk into a walmart and you’ll find that there’s a minimum of 3 roll packs available. So I never used to use paper towels, coz my parents brought me up teaching me how wasting paper was a sin. So we used cloth towels for wiping our hands and wiping kitchen platforms and drying pans. Now, I buy the 3 pack paper towel and see it lying and imagine how convenient it would be to use that since i don’t have an added towel in the laundry, I go ahead and start using it. Soon I discover I need a 6 roll towel pack instead of the 1 that I set out to get for a temporary use.

This is where I love India. If I want a single pen because I forgot one at home, I buy a single pen, not a pack of 10 pens. I buy a single can of Coke or Pepsi when i feel like it, instead of a crate of 6. It is this mentality, and this business mindedness that has driven Americans to be so casually wasteful of resources. If the paper industry stops for just 1 day in America, the whole country will come to a standstill, coz all the kitchens will now be dirty, toilets will be stinking and dirty asses walking around.

Oh this country amazes me.. Here’s another example : The state of Kansas is apparently considering reducing the term for possession of marijuana from 3 years to 10-42 months. And wait…. This term is applicable to when you are caught possessing marijuana for the 2nd time! The first time you get off with a warning.

The reason : The state of Kansas is running out of funds. They lose $800,000 over about 50 people they arrest every year. So to save that money, they reduce the sentence. And quite obviously aren’t worried if they have addition issues and a whole new generation of Kansas children addicted to marijuana at birth.

A brit would say “bollocks” and an Indian would quite simply say “mad guys” to this interstellar thought. But then you don’t expect better from americans. They have conned their way to bring the super power in the world. And so conning inside their own country with their own countrymen doesn’t come to me as a surprise.

Anyway… It’s a Saturday morning and I just burnt my Omlette on the pan. Guess what… It’s the americans.. it’s those damn americans… dam ’em!