The Faux Pranab

Okay so I put out the idea of a Benglish podcast a couple of weeks back and I received an overwhelming response from all your guys. My mailbox is full! (forced applause).. I’m overwhelmed (teary eyed) (“Yeah *was overwhelming* and *I’m overwhelmed* are the same thing dumbass!! Real estate!! Real estate!!” says the pirate sitting on my left shoulder who is responsible for running a spell-check on my writing style)

Too much output to process” says my coding pirate.
You don’t need double quotes for everything – spell-check pirate

Enough! Back to me…. Read the below post. This man inspires me every day every hour.. of my benglish life.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3273987/Indian-president-shocks-gathering-Israeli-MPs-telling-love-Hamas-actually-meant-say-likes-HUMMUS.html

The headline sums it up. I’m certainly happy he’s alive, but I’m worried his phones and emails are being monitored since this date by Mossad.
And now so are mine. I took their name on a public post.
Aaaaanyway.. They’ll stop the trail once they realize I went from Bihar to Buffalo and then to Kansas. My bovine life! Yes the pun is intended! Ain’t no puns goin’ waste here mate.

So what are most concerned about this week? Let’s be honest. It is the new species of frog that was discovered in the Western Ghats in India. Half of you don’t even know what the fuck that means but for the other half this is most earth shattering discovery of all times. Like the dude was in our backyard all these years man.. and we didn’t even know about it. Imagine the snail that was on that drumstick tree in your backyard through the hellish summers where even your bladder would scream “Lemme retain some liquid here will you!!! You bloody heat of a nut job!” (Btw Blogo just auto-corrected *nutjob* to *nut job*.. Awww! (insert heart smiley till I figure this shit))
Comeing out of that shell.. And then the snail also survived the clattering thunders and blinding lightenings and torrential downpour of rains and then.. Winter is coming happened.. It survived that too.. The drumstick tree shed it’s leaves so It decided to walk to the Guava tree next to it coz it was beginning to look nice and green. But darn it! It was back to summer when it reached. Whatte life of streggle!

Coming back out of this shell too… Imagine that little thing was there all your life and you bloody didn’t know anything about it. It was continuously shuttling between drumstick and guava.. one long and dry other round and juicy. That was it’s life.. every time saying tree is greener on the other side and never getting there..

Shit! Wrecking ball of a thought.. OMG… This is my life… Bovine… Snail like… Grass, tree, fruits everything always greener and more ripe on the other side.. Okay sometimes Red-er since i’m color blind.. But seriously!!! Holy fuck this is..

Coming out of that shell..
Pranab Da inspires me… because he’s like the old snail.. walks slowly, talks slowly, cares not a goats goatie worth of shit about what famous people like me or infamous people like the rest of you say.. smiles always, clean shaven, suited up like that-guy-from-how-i-met-your-mother.
That’s why when he slowly read Hummus his mind broke the word down Hum – hindi wala we? Ham?
mus – mass christian wala mass.

Ham mass.. We love Hamas…..

Next morning… ohho! So what man.. so big deal they are making.. ayee Rotu da.. cophee ta niyesho!

Bovine!