This is getting to be quite a challenge. I got done with yesterday’s post and I was looking forward to encountering greener pastures until I hit this one. I’ ve been thinking for a while now, “What the hell do I know good enough to educate someone about it?”
After a decent while at it, I realize there are only two things I have done good enough to pass my own test of ‘good-ness’, not even very good or expert in it; Swimming and talking crap which could bring people to smile or giggle.
I’ll start with the former. I know describing the different strokes is not what you want to read. You get that from google’s first search result of swimming (Wikipedia-for the guests from outer space). That having said, There’s one thing you want to make sure you never do inside water. And by never I meant NEVER. Cough!
This was among the first lessons taught to me by this wonderful man who taught me tricks of swimming I learnt through years. I shall never know his real name but I used to call him Dubloo bhaiya. He was a huge bulky guy, the last guy by the looks to convince you he was a pro in swimming. But this was first of the many advices he gave me. The concept is, when you cough, you exhale, but right after it you inhale air, and I’m sure most of you are looking at this saying “huh???? NO!” Yes you do. And it’s involuntary which is why you fail to realize it until someone points it out. Now while inside the water if you cough, you end up inhaling water which has a high chance of going into your lungs, and that means you’re closer to drowning than you were before.
The second tip :
Whenever you see someone drowing, DON’T jump in to rescue unless you know how to rescue another human AND swim. The two are different. I am a swimmer not the latter. But I was taught the trick to it, again by this guru of mine. The trick is when you jump in, again only if you’re a GOOD swimmer do this. Go behind the person who’s drowning and hold onto his/her stomach or their neck. When a person is drowning, their grip is called the ‘Death Grip’. They’re close to death psychologically and so it’s plain last page of survival ‘hold onto whatever you can and don’t let go if you don’t want to die’. That’s what they do. If you get held by them you both go down because they’ll clamber on to you and try and push you down into the water so they can stand/sit on you so they remain above the water. And you’ll have no time to think whats going on, before you know you’re inside the water with the other person’s leg around your neck holding you tight. No matter how good you are, you can’t come up with another person on your shoulders, so you’ll eventually drown.
Now going behind someone negates their possibility and ability to hold you. try holding someone when they’re behind you and when they’re in front, you’ll know what i’m saying. Having accomplished the first hurdle of escaping their death grip, your next aim is to keep their head above the water so they breathe and feel better. Hold onto their stomach or neck (like wrestlers do) with one hand and swim with the other. Your hand will never let their head go down and your other hand takes you ashore.
Those are my 2 cents on Swimming and saving lives.
As for talking crap, this might already sound like a buttload of crap. (BTW Apparently Buttload does have a numerical value!!!). I’d just say I like to find a funny side in things and even if I don’t I’d like to smile and probably laugh so I come up with something funny eventually 🙂
Oh and it could still be crap, like this explanation I just gave! 😛
By the By
Drink me up hearties..