Change is the one thing that’s constant in our lives. Yet I find it extremely difficult to accept changes. i’m not sure if it’s just me or if it’s more universal than just me.
Off late I have seen a lot of my close friends change a lot. And most of it has been quite comprehensively startling. When you befriend a person, you don’t just befriend the person for what his character , conduct or qualifications are. You also are in an unsaid code, accepting the other person’s moral stands on a few basic issues, principles in life, rules by which they live it. You have an implicit acceptance to all those rules, morals, values, principles that person has for life, and they accept you for the same. If you befriend a chauvinist, you are okay with him being a chauvinist. If you befriend a shrewd person, you are okay with his/her shrewdness, stubbornness, insensitivity, promiscuity, shyness, reclusiveness, temper, dominating personality, dishonesty, honesty, religious beliefs or lack of it… everything!
And by befriending here I mean not meeting someone on the train, plane or bus ride and being Facebook friends liking each other’s posts and pictures. I mean friendship in a closer sense, more real than the internet.
Once you accept all these set of characteristics which comes bundled as a package, you are in love with the package as a whole. You cannot like a a piece of furniture, say a chair if one of it’s wooden legs was replaced with a steel leg, would you? You might use it, not throw it out, but you certainly wouldn’t love sitting on it every morning, unless of course if it were gifted to you by someone beloved. But if you had bought it in a furniture store, I’m assuming you’d go back and probably buy another one similar to this, or just use the now disfigured chair for purposes that are less emotional than sitting in the balcony drinking tea watching the sunset or the sunrise.
Considering the over explained metaphor now draws the picture quite cleanly, I must ask what is it that you’d do if you were to find people around you change to that degree. And almost all of them within a short span of time. What if 5 of the 7 chairs in your house broke one leg or the backrest? (No idea why 7 total chairs, but don’t digress!)
I for one would be pretty depressed. And would probably throw the whole set away and buy a complete new set of furniture for two reasons. One I wouldn’t want to suffer seeing the once beautiful furtniture not having the beauty anymore, however shallow it might sound in this metaphorised context, but it sure is deep in the real context.
Second, to have the memory of the old furniture replaced so I don’t have to deal with a pain every single day. We all will ‘choose’ happiness over pain any given day!
But sad as it might sound, I cannot throw away my friends. I haven’t learnt to. I hope not to learn to. I hope to learn to accept them with the changes. To still treat the chair with one steel leg nailed in it, without a backrest, like my companion and pull it to the balcony every single morning for a coffee and every single evening for a tea and on some nights to rest my feet on and drift into a peaceful sleep.
I shall stand by you. You might have to wait for me to accept you, but that’s okay, coz i’m sure i’ve changed as a reaction to your change and you’ll take your time to accept me with my changes.
Let’s give this whole sphere some more time to settle. I might take longer than you, coz change, my friend is one constant I cannot take, but I’m not left with an option either. Coz I shall not leave you behind and walk on! We shall walk together always.
Drink me up hearties !!! Always… Savvy???
By the By..